Recently I posted a short comment about making the world a better place through action. Of course, it's easy to tell others to take action. But it's just as easy to actually take that action! We have opportunities all around us if we're just willing to be observant.


For example, like many people, I've been working from home the last four or five months. And rather than wearing my normal business attire of a slightly starched button-down shirt and slacks, I've been wearing a polo shirt and gym shorts (admit it -- you're doing the same!).

After four months of working from home, I did have a few shirts that needed laundering so I dropped them off with Song, the woman -- along with her husband -- who has been taking care of my shirts and dry cleaning for years. She calls me "Mr. Ford" and regularly asks, "How is Mrs. Ford?" No need for a ticket because she knows me. I simply drop a pile of shirts on the counter and return several days later to pick them up. And if she sees me pulling up in the car, she has the shirts ready to go before I even walk through the door. It's almost become a game to see if I can sneak up on her!

When I went to pick up my five shirts a few days ago, I noticed Song's store was pretty empty. Upon a little digging, I discovered they are only doing cleaning two days a week. So I'm not the only person working in polos and shorts instead of business shirts and slacks.

Yet Song still keeps her store open every day but Sunday. "I have to be here for my customers." That's just part of her heart. "Yes, business is slow but at least I have a job. Many of our customers are out of work. It's so sad. But we are blessed." She and her husband are two of the nicest, kindest people I know.

So even though I'm still working from home, I'm again wearing that starched button down every day (and yes, I'm still wearing shorts). This way, I can visit Song and her husband regularly. Will it be enough to increase their cleaning operations to three or four days a week? Probably not. But it allows me to give them just a little extra business. More importantly, it allows me to honor Song's hard work over the years. And it brightens my day when I go visit her!

I don't tell this story to earn a gold star from anyone or prove I'm a good person. I'm truly just providing a simple example of how easy it is to help others, how we can make the world just a little bit kinder, one person, one interaction at a time.

NOTE:  I MAY LOSE ABOUT HALF OF YOU READERS IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH.  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CONTINUE READING TO THE END.

. . . because I voted for President Trump.  I lie.  I’m evil.  I’m an SOB.  And not only should I die but everyone around me should die also.  

The    most amazing part?  The people calling me an evil SOB and clamoring for my death — they don’t even know me!

While scrolling through Twitter last week, I came across a tweet from a highly regarded HR influencer I follow.  She made a simple, not-too-ugly (but not-too-nice either) comment about President Trump.  That comment elicited three responses directed at all Trump supporters, including me.

Of course, the other side does it, too.  When hanging out on Twitter, it doesn’t take long to see ugly comments and name-calling such as everyone on the Left loves China more than America and “Nancy Pelosi is a traitor.”  I seriously doubt the person throwing out that gem knows Speaker Pelosi.

How did we let things get so bad, to the point where we hate everyone on the other end of the political spectrum, even to the point where we want them to contract Coronavirus and die?

I go into the office every day (well, the last few weeks I’ve stayed home and “Zoomed” into my office) and interact with teammates who have very different political ideas.  I differ with other teammates on religion.  And we all have different thoughts on culture, immigration, how to raise kids, and the best Mexican food in town.

We sometimes have deep, meaningful, and occasionally emotional and loud debates on these topics.  Rarely are any minds changed but we do concede good points when presented.

And guess what?  At the end of our sometimes heated discussion, we’re all still friends!  How can that be?

We work together, respect each other, and, after the latest political debate, still laugh together because the following four characteristics light the path of our lives’ journeys:

1. Mindset:  We  start by thinking the best of each other.  We see each person on our team as unique, bringing special gifts to the team that make all of us better.  
2. Similarities:  There’s more that binds us together than separates us.  Regardless of who we voted for or the direction of our political leanings, we all want the best for our country, for our company, and for our families.  We may debate how to run the country or who has the best Mexican food in town, but we all want to take care of hard-working employees who are impacted by the virus and we all like a good plate of nachos and perhaps a margarita.  
3. Civility: We’ve all decided to treat each other with respect.  While the political or cultural conversations may get a little emotional and we may talk over one another, we never scream and yell at each other and we don’t call each other ugly names.
4. Friendship:  What truly binds us together is friendship.  We spend time not just talking about work but getting to know each other on a personal level.  We may not be BFFs or go on vacation together, but we do enjoy working together.  We enjoy accomplishing team goals.  We enjoy celebrating the accomplishment of those goals.  And we enjoy hearing about each other’s families.

Some people just don’t get this, I realize, and never will.  In fact, the people who stopped reading this post after the first paragraph, even though at the outset I pleaded for them to stick with it, are probably calling me ugly names right now.  

For most of us, though, if we’ll just adopt the four points above, perhaps we can all get along a little better, even to the point of having a meaningful conversation about some very important topics.

As for everyone on Twitter or Facebook or LinkedIn who thinks I’m a stupid, evil, SOB simply because I voted a certain way almost four years ago?  How about connecting here on LI and let’s get to know each other.  

You never know — you may just like me! 

I love my wife.  That’s one reason we’ve stayed married over 30 years.  We love watching movies, traveling, and cooking together (she is most certainly the cook, I just stir when she tells me).

I also appreciate my wife.  I appreciate the way she decorates the house and makes it feel “homey.”  I appreciate how she keeps the house running by balancing our family finances.  And I appreciate how she keeps me informed about family and friends by reading me Facebook posts.

And I value my wife.  The thing I value most is how she makes me a better me.  She keeps me looking good through her great sense of fashion, helps me find the right words to difficult conversations, and regularly offers advice on my speaking business.  While I may not always treat her like the treasure she is, I value and cherish her beyond words.

So what’s the difference between the three?  Is one more important than the other?  Do I really need all three for a successful marriage?  Let’s start this brief exploration with a few definitions:

Love: To have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for.

Appreciate:   To be grateful or thankful for; to be fully conscious or aware of.

Value:  Consider someone or something to be important or beneficial; have a high opinion of.

In simpler terms, love is about an emotional connection, appreciation is thankfulness, and value reflects importance and worth.

So, yes, for a successful marriage, I would say all three are needed.  And it’s all three that helped Pat and me celebrate 31 years last November.

But what about the corporate world?  Do leaders need these three characteristics to be effective?  As in marriage, I would say yes.

Let’s start with love.  Not to sound too soft or mushy, but I’m convinced that a love for people is required for positive, effective leadership.  I’m not talking about a passionate love one has for a spouse or a child but a love based on friendship.  Plato and Aristotle talked about philia love which is reflected in shared goodwill.  It’s a love that wants to connect with people on a real basis and wants to see others succeed.

Next is appreciation which is about gratitude.  Being thankful for the work a colleague or direct report does and for the results they bring to the team.  Key here is actually expressing that thankfulness with words.

Which brings us to Value, an emotion or characteristic that is (sadly) rarely shared.  Valuing teammates or direct reports is about acknowledging a person’s worth, their gifts, and how they make the team better.

This is especially true for people who are different from ourselves.  For example, I’m a pretty loud person.  And I’m funny — at least I think so.  And if there was a team full of me’s, we would have a blast!  It would be a constant party!  Can’t promise how much work we’d accomplish but we’d have fun trying.

For me to be my best and for my team to be its best, I need someone on my team who is a little quieter and someone who is a little more serious.  I need that person to tap me on the arm during a meeting and say, “Hey, let’s be serious for a minute.”

By that same token, the quiet person needs me, the person who craves conversation and banter.  That quiet person needs me to say, “Hey, we’ve heard from everyone but you and your opinion is important.  Let’s hear it.”

You see, together, that quiet, serious person makes me a better me.  And the loud, lighthearted person I am can bring out some of the same in that quiet, serious person.   And together, we’ll do great work!

I need that person!  I value that person for how they challenge me and make me better.  And how they make the team better!

I’m convinced leaders need all three emotions in order to build a high-performance team.  Organizations can also have an impact on performance and engagement by building cultures that revolve around fostering relationships, recognition, and valuing people for the unique individuals they are.

But how?  Can an organization really build a culture that revolves around these three critical characteristics?  Absolutely!  And we’ll explore that next month! ​​

​Our values should guide every conversation, decision, and interaction.  Our values should anchor every product and service we provide and every channel we operate.  If we can’t link what we do to one of our values, we should ask ourselves why we’re doing it.  It’s that simple.
 
We have five primary values that are based on our vision and provide the foundation for everything we do:
 

• People as a competitive advantage
• Ethics
• What’s right for customers
• Diversity and inclusion
• Leadership

 
The above verbiage sounds great, doesn’t it?  These are values of a major U.S. bank in support of their vision:  “We want to satisfy our customers’ financial needs and help them succeed financially.”  Who wouldn’t want to work for or do business with a company that believes this?
 
Sadly, the above words, taken directly from the Wells Fargo website, mean absolutely nothing.  A slow-burning scandal that took place for years, low-level bank employees siphoned money from customers and opened bogus accounts and cards using current customers’ personal information, all to meet sales quotas and get sales bonuses.  Obviously, this bank’s belief in ethics and customers was simply rhetoric. 
 
In the end, Wells Fargo customers lost money and 5,300 bank employees lost their jobs.  One of those employees was Carrie Tolstedt, the senior executive in charge of Wells Fargo’s branches.  Amazingly, even though arguably she was the senior executive in charge of the fraudulent scheme, she was able to walk away with a $125 million bonus!
 
How can this happen?  How can a company that espouses the customer and ethics have such widespread fraud?  I believe it’s a lack of accountability and a lack of leadership.
 
I’m confident that if you asked Wells Fargo employees, “What are Wells’ values and how do you live them?” you would get blank stares in return.  In fact, asking employees to simply recite the values would be met with that same blank response.  Obviously, no one at Wells Fargo was asking employees to name and live out their values.  To Wells Fargo employees, those values were simply a nice plaque that hung on the bank branch walls.
 
While all employees are responsible for living out the corporate values, the person who should live out those values more than anyone is the top leader, in this case Wells Fargo’s CEO John Stumpf.  Even when announcing Tolstedt’s departure, he complimented her for being “a champion for our customers.”  Apparently, employees, ethics, and customers were just words on a wall for Mr. Stumpf as well.
 
So how can organizations avoid Wells Fargo’s situation?  By openly talking about corporate values, by practicing those values daily, and by having a leadership team that models those values.  If you aren’t putting deliberate effort against those values, they will not become ingrained in everyday behaviors and actions.
 
But what about your company and your leadership?  What if your leaders refuse to live out the corporate values?  First, you have a choice to make.  Do you stay or go?  Do you remain with your current organization where “gutless leadership,” a term used to describe Mr. Stumpf’s governance, could lead the entire organization down a very wrong path?  Or do you find another organization where leadership believes in and lives out their values?
 
Second, and most importantly, think about your own actions.  Regardless of how leadership and everyone around you behave, you can be true to your corporate values.  With every action, decision, and conversation, you have an opportunity to align with your organization’s mission and values.
 
So hold yourself accountable to making your organization’s values ring true.  Doing so will most likely help you engage more with your work and your colleagues, ultimately finding greater job success and satisfaction.
 
Do you have any corporate values stories, either good or bad?  Please share and start a conversation!